Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Something are not meant to be :(

As Salam...

From years back and sadly today, again i learnt things will not be always as we want. Maybe Allah have other plan for us...but still deep in my heart the hurt is deep..

I also learnt few things additional :
a. Allah
b. Never take things for granted
c. Never assume whatever we have posses will be ours forever
d. Cherish and love what ever u have
e. Law of attraction always happens if u really into it
f.  Never hurt the person love u....sorry

Trust that, things happens for reason and we cant change things happen around us.  Change ur self in order to be different.

PRAY, DOA n TAWAKAL...insyaAllah....

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Its been a while.....


Its been a while since i updated my blog....initially the blog created because it is part of the assignment for my class...however i always wanted to write....either academic or non academic via blog or others....but guess via blog is the best at the moment :).

Wow....many things happened past few months....me getting pregnant, moving to new house and my brothers wedding.....if i looked back things had happen...wooowwwww...how do i manage all those.....obviously all of those effected me a loooooottttttttttttt......all the 3 major things happened in my life at the same time!!!

2nd Pregnancy

Am 27th week now.....had bleeding and waiting to be confirm if its Plasenta Previa.....this pregnancy is very though....not just because of numbers of visits to the Gynae but also because of the emotional rollercoaster that i went through. 

life have been very hard and am still regaining my strenght and energy to get my life back.  People say u have to sacrifice something to get another....but till when u need to sacrifice....do we need to sacrifice everything just because we want that "one" thing? is that sacrifices meaningful? remember, people also says becareful of what you wish for...so bear in mind...sometimes ...we want something in life so much that we neglect or take for granted other things.....when u r loosing 'that', u'll know how much u need 'that'.

Luckily my parents were my side....however, its my life...so i shud control it.  Though i know they want to be there, help me, support me....yet deep in my heart i feel that...they are part of the cause of the problem.....so i decided to take charge of everything. Yes, i do notice they are broken and wanted to help me...but when they are closer, i feel am more tense and more anger.  I know i shud not put the blame on them.... yet....they are part of the cause.....

Ok enough of this blaming...i want to get myself out of this mess n be free. anyways...grass are greener on the other side!!

Moving Out to New House

Yeay!!! finally am at my own home...HOME SWEET HOME...my own space....i rule my own space....no one can enter into my space....FINALLY .ITS MY OWN SPACE WORLD.  Alhamdulillah :)

ALhamdulillah....after almost 4 years of struggle ....deciding...etc...we moved to our own house....it still in mess ...but its okay...coz its my own space...am not bother about anybody who complains my house is messy, smelly, unorganize....yes...am not bother at all....hey its my house...why u shud bother ....so shut up and get a life!! Hahhaha....kejam tak??

Our sweet home....have lots more to do....now its the basic thing...really basic...even there's no mirror in our bathroom....have to buy one....sian my  other half...have to shave using IPAD.....so creative kan....i just notice that...i can live without a mirror.....yes....sometimes...i tak tgk myself in mirror in days....guess thats my self confidence...hahhaha..perasan ;)

My brothers wedding

Alhamdulilah, finally my bro kahwin....though am the only sister for him....i did not involve much into the preparation till the last minute.....itu pun orang kata i  macam macam....well again am not bother anything people say....

Sometimes, i envy with them....pi mana2 pun...together2....even from their room to living room....like they have secret code....not like me....alone everywhere ....sometimes....i feel....i am alone....bz with my things and my other half with his....we r just not together....:(

ANyway, i wish my bro and SIL will have happy married life and success in whatever they do. InsyaAllah.


Thursday, 17 May 2012



Today my post is on monster....its not on what is monster, what they do etc.  but on how i turn into monster yesterday.

It all because of my dearie Hana Marisa.  we were having good time yesterday, as i was on leave to take care of her as my mum is away.  we were doing her favourite, PAINTING!!!.i had finished all the house work. I was so so happy coz finally its the a day for me n hana to spend some quality time.  we were painting a boat n suddenly i remembered about my curry suppose to boil like 1n hour ago...but i did not smell anything....so i went to check my fish curry....it was less than 5 mins...when i return, i saw the living hall floor was full of hana's 10 finger print...till the kitchen..further more she was happily counting 1-10 n smiling and telling me...she had so much funnnnnnnnnnnn...OMG....i saw the floor was chop with her finger....including the TV and her lips and face as well...when i asked...she said..its make up!!!! OMG, i felt so so angry...n started to scold her...n she was like "ma..i was just painting" ...lagilah mak marah!!!!adoiiiiiii....i started to pukul her and she cried a lot.....

Later, when she was asleep, ...OMG...what have i done....she is just a baby....baru 3 tahun....rasa bersalah sangat....i felt so so horrible....that was the only time me n her alone after such a long time.....yet i had ruined it.....Hana just love painting...everyday she will ask ..ma can i paint...such alovely girl...but horrible mum!

I saw her confuse eye.  How come she is alllowed at school to do that. I guess i failed to tell her that what can and what cant be done...i'm sorry dear!

She was so sad...and later at night i told her why i pukul her..n she said sorry coz being naughty....OMG...i felt worst at that moment.

Friday, 11 May 2012

Mothers Day!


Happy Mothers day! It is just around the corner. I'm not sure whether we as muslim can celebrate it but for me is like a day we officially we dedicate a day for our mom!

This week i felt so much when my mum is away.  I need her the most at this moment.  When she is away, i know how much i need her, how much i depend on her, how much i had take her for granted.  Sorry ma.

The house felt so empty when she is not around.  So so empty, feel so so empty.  When she is not around, i will make my self busy, tired and occupied. 

But when she is around, we cant along much. Often a discussion ended up with tears.  Either mine or hers.  Phewww.

This is pic of my mum with Hana.

Sorry ma.  Please come back fast.

I miss you so much!  Hana miss you too. 


Blogs...Sites i read and i love!


As per my previous post. I love to read, to cook and others. And alhamdulillah with wide usage of Internet, i can get this things for free from net.

This sites all are free and we get get their updates via subscription.  Listed are the sites i love to read everyday :

1.   http://happiness-project.com/
2.   http://periuktanah.blogspot.com/
3.   http://ummiscircle.blogspot.com/
4.   http://simplecraftsforpreschool.blogspot.com/search/label/Tips
5.   http://sarahtay.my/five-years-and-counting/
6.   http://www.bestspaghettisauce.com/
7.   http://juliacameronlive.com/
8.   http://www.marthastewart.com/show/the-martha-stewart-show/kitchen-organizing
9.   http://darwishndarwisya.blogspot.com/
10. http://homedesign.marthastewart.com/2012/03/my-new-favorite-blogs.html
11. http://drjacobgeorge.com/myweblog/?page_id=20
12. http://www.houzz.com/photos/kitchen/p/24
13. http://www.lauracaseyinteriors.com/blog/2012/03/20/kitchen-technology/

Hope the above URLs will benefit you as well.  Of course, the links are related to life, how to be happy, how to manage our life and other.

Iam in opine that, why should i buy it whereby i can get it free.  Unless it is something that i love so much. 

Recently, i bought The Secret book by Rhonda Byrne.  It is really good book.  Everyone should have it.  Go n google about The Secret. I will tell you on next post ;)

See ya



Its about the new Ipad.  Its the third generation or called The New Ipad or Ipad 3.  Its been waited since the Ipad 2 launched! Off course , people are hunger for Apple's new product.

My husband bought it as my Hana Marisa's 3rd birthday present!!!! I totally againts it.  However, i only knew it after it been bought. 

My Hana Marisa was so happy.  All her cousin have one. So, she wont be "jakun" when she is with them. Mode: Sedapkan hati ;).

On the other, to utilize or maximize Ipad usage by my dearie, i googled and googled and finally found this information on Islamic Parenting and i suscribe to their new updates.  Alhamdulillah, on 4th May 2012 i receive an email from them informing how to screen our kids from various sites in net. And the good things is they shared few URLs which is good.  The list is as follows:

1- Al-quran utk kanak2






2- Membaca Iqra'





3- Membaca Bahasa Inggeris dan vocab





4- Belajar Bahasa Arab








Alhamdulillah, i had tested few with Hana.  And she like it. However, as usual the animated games attract her more than the above link. Watch this video of Hana playing with her IPAD.

Trust me those above links are good and its good to expose our kids to them.  We as parents have all the right to educate them, choose what they should watch and guide them.  Some of the parents, let the kids play and get access to internet freely.  The kids are exposed to so much of bad things.  Please guide them.  The kids need the parents.  Who else will guide them if not us the parents.

Suddently become so emotional about our kids nowadaya.  Some of the kids nowadays, their day is filled with Ipad.  You can see it at family gathering, dinners etc.  The kids in their own world.  Nothing else matters. 

They dont know how to social with others, especially with elder people.  They are not running around, they are not playing hide n seek (i enjoy it so much when i was kid), they are just sitting on chair and moving their tiny fingers! They are not sweating! They are not healthy.

One of the way to make sure Hana is not obsessed with IPAd is hide it. Then tell her IPAD need to sleep. Or else she wont stop playing with IPAd.  And i need so much of patient to explain to her. As usual why...why...why....

Thursday, 10 May 2012

How IT changed my life!!

Salam...hope everyone is in best of health.

Todays post is about how IT had changed my life!!

Honestly i started to depend on IT (PC, emails, chats) because of my love life! Yes, you are correct. I have to be connected to be with my boyfriend (now husband) hehehhehe.

I mean, we had long distance relationship. He studied at States while i was here in Malaysia. Obviously,  those days i can't use phone as the cost is so so expensive.

We have been communicationg through Yahoo Messenger for almost 10 years! Wow! Time really flies!
Some of the communication that i had save...hehhehehe.Sorry, its blurry but hope you can see the dates. Some were from 2003 ;)

As you see...it was those years emails.....e-greeting cards......my precious moments....its my LIFE!

Above is proof of life....how IT had contributed to my life.

Now, i'm married with him. Almost 4th year n blessed with our little pricess Hana Marisa.

On our wedding day with my friend's who contributed a lot during my hard days ( u know its hard to maintain long distance relationship).  Thank you Syeda, Iza, Ibu ( Syeda's mother) and Ila (Syeda's sister)

Alhamdulillah....from two...we become three.....Hana Marisa, Ma love you so so much sayang....

Us on Hana Marisa's 3rd Birthday!
 With lots of love!